Hearing the words, “You have breast cancer” can stop a woman in her tracks. It can prompt strong feelings of shock and fear, to sadness and even despair. It’s life-changing news, and understanding the emotional impact is the first step in supporting patients and families as they cope with everything and move forward toward treatment and recovery.
Dr. Kim Grayson, assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at UTMB said that receiving this diagnosis is often the worst moment of the woman’s life, but she shared three ways in which attending to a breast cancer patient’s emotional well-being helps patient find strength and hope.
“When a patient comes to my office for their psychiatric care, the first thing I do is check in with them. How are they taking this news?” Dr. Grayson said. “We must process through that, and early on, it’s easy to get on the treadmill of ‘I don’t want to die.’ There are so many tests and treatments, and they have side effects that affect a patient’s mood and appearance. All that affects self-esteem, and people can get so caught up in their fight to survive that they lose sight of their emotions.”
All those overwhelming emotions are often suddenly channeled into action. “It’s very hard to just sit with those feelings,” she said. “You don’t feel as though you can take time to fall apart. You feel you have to do everything fast, with no time for reflection, and no time to deal with emotions. I try to address that in my office, helping people start to feel all those emotions.”
Meanwhile, she said, her patients are also having to continue raising their children and going to work.
“Life goes on, and there’s an image that patients have seen in which they feel they have to be strong for their family and hide their fear and sadness,” she said. “The first piece of advice I would give to the patient’s family, friends, and spouse is to be there to listen to the patient talk about what’s going on. Her hair might be falling out, or she might be experiencing neuropathic pain, as well as other side effects of treatment. The physical aspects of treatment are very hard. Listening to her talk about it will help.”
In fact, breast cancer patients do better when they have as much emotional support as they can find. “Support groups are a great way to meet other people who are going through the same experience,” Dr. Grayson said. “This is not just about killing cancer cells. There is a human being here who has needs, and there are many ways to help her find comfort and emotional support, so another piece of advice I give is to encourage patients to find those groups.”
Social media or other online groups can be great resources, and for those who don’t feel comfortable joining groups, the virtual setting can be a plus.
When cancer strikes, the medications, the treatments, and the endless appointments can overwhelm a woman’s life.
“In order to emotionally deal with the situation, I advise patients to declare certain times or activities to be a ‘Cancer Free Zone,’ in which the patient blocks out time that is devoted to anything except cancer,” she said.
“Just do what you enjoy and don’t talk about it, because it can consume your life,” Dr. Grayson said. “You can block out a time and keep it just for yourself, from your life that was pre-cancer. Everyone is trying their best, but it can be too much when everyone around is constantly asking about your health. Set boundaries, and appreciate the concern, but you have to create time off talking about it, and give everyone permission to be around you and not talk about it.”
Helping women navigate the emotional side of breast cancer is just as important as treating the disease itself. The diagnosis might stop a woman in her tracks, but it does not have to define the road ahead. Treatment with emotional support can pave the way forward to return to health.
Learn more about Women's Behavioral and Mental Health Services at UTMB Health.