Apart from their pets many humans are surprised that other mammals have emotions such as grief, joy, anger, fear, and love. They are even more surprised by emotions described in birds, fish, octopuses, even crabs.
Emotions are internal, automatic responses to outside events. Emotions happen inside the body/mind as chemical or physiological events. When an event occurs the brain triggers the release of chemical messengers that travel through fluids and attach to certain specific cells in the body. We have all experienced an increase in heart rate when we are startled. A recent study demonstrated that when a baby sees a smile its heart rate slows down, showing relaxation or peace. Interestingly the smile must be a real smile showing certain muscles around the eyes. Most adults have seen smiles that don’t “go to the eyes” indicating that it isn’t a real smile.
As we have studied the mind/body connection and are now familiar with such chemicals as dopamine, serotonin, cortisol, and adrenaline. This knowledge has help develop medications to help balance the multiple “emotional” chemicals that may cause unwanted behaviors.
Behavior is the external demonstration of emotions. Unlike automatic emotions a person has some control over behaviors that are the result of these emotions. As a child grows, they have more chances to feel different emotions, sometimes very strong ones. They have more experiences and relationships to enable learning how to manage their feelings.
Infants and toddlers can experience the change in heartbeat or fluttering of their stomach, but they lack the language skills to think through those feelings. However, they are constantly absorbing what their caregivers say, making it beneficial for caregivers to talk out loud about emotions.
Starting at about 8-12 months children become more aware of themselves, can more easily separate from their caregivers and want things in their own way. As they explore their environment, they may develop new fears such as fear of darkness and loud noises.
Two-year-olds have a wide range of emotions and have lots of mood swings as they struggle to control their actions, impulses, feelings and bodies. They are constantly testing limits and frequently lack the skills to accomplish what they want to do. They can act out their frustration by crying, screaming, hitting by having a terrible-two temper tantrum. Setting consistent, reasonable limits and praising their accomplishments helps them build self-esteem and positive feelings.
Teenagers and parents should talk about love as a powerful human emotion while emphasizing the power to control their actions. It is usually late adolescence that they have more impulse control and can understand risks and benefits. There are some adults that never learn to control their behaviors.
Learning to control behaviors is an ongoing process. If you go online to healthychildren.org, and search “Recommended Reading: Books to Teach Kids About Feelings & Resilience” there is an extensive list of books about feelings and how to handle them for all ages. These books are available in the library or bookstores. Reading them together is helpful.
by Sally Robinson, MD, Clinical Professor
Keeping Kids Healthy
Published October 2026