Most of us, of all ages, are feeling stressed by climate change, politics, wars, etc. Add on the stress of the upcoming holidays and every member of the family is stressed. Families may not be able to change the reality of the moment but they can focus their energies on “controlling what we can control” and practicing gratitude for the events, no matter how small, which give us happiness.
Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives. It can be an object or an emotional feeling. It is a recognition of what is good in life. Gratitude helps people connect with something larger than themselves, to other people, to nature, or a higher power.
Drs. Joshua Brown and Joel Wong, at Indiana University, wrote an article called “How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain”. They noted that recent evidence suggests that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed. All students were receiving counseling services and were randomly assigned into three groups: write one letter of gratitude to another person each week for three weeks, write about their deepest thoughts and feelings about a negative experience, or no written assignment. Those who wrote gratitude letters reported significantly better mental health 4 weeks and 12 weeks after their letter-writing experience. The individual writing the gratitude letter felt better. Can you imagine how the person receiving the letter felt?
Luckily gratitude can be added to our daily routines. Healthychildren.org gives some tips to help build the habit of gratitude in children as follows: 1. Focus on what went “right” each day and take a couple of moments to talk about at least one thing that you and your family are grateful for. There are studies showing gratitude improves sleep. 2. Don’t save conversations about gratitude for Thanksgiving but expand to daily activities while driving or eating to talk about what you are grateful for, about positive traits in others that make us feel loved and secure, 3. Create a habit of thankful verbal or written expressions which help increase self-esteem, mental strength and reinforce positive behaviors in both children and adults. Writing thank you notes is an example.
Parents should demonstrate your gratefulness for jobs well done each time and acknowledging kind actions of your children and all members of your family and associates. Demonstrating out loud gratitude for the adult caregivers about the ongoing household jobs each day brings happiness to both and sets a good example for children. Gratitude is a way for people (children) to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in hopes it will make them happier. Gratitude helps people to focus on what they have instead of what they lack.
Don’t forget those magic words, “thank you”, “good job”, “that was very kind of you”, “thanks for helping” and “I appreciate you”. Average ten new thanks a day. For variation you could say in French, “merci”, in Spanish, gracias” and in Italian, “grazie”.
By Sally Robinson, MD
Keeping Kids Healthy
University of Texas Medical Branch (UTMB)
Published Decembere 2023